Black Mirror is back and the internet is collectively splurging all over the place like some sort of weird masturbatory analogy I can’t seem to find my way out of.

Anyway, Netflix once again manages to give us more of what we already love and now there’s quite literally 100% more of Black Mirror than last week. Well, technically not quite 100% because of that christmal special bumping the previous episode count from 6 to 7 but whatever, you get it and “roughly 185.71%” doesn’t sound as flashy.

So here’s a quick TL;DR of the new episodes in case you rather read about them like actually watching them like some sort of maniac.

s03e01: Nosedive

Remember that shitty idea of an app for people to rate people? Back then people where making jokes about this idea being so shitty and blatantly dystopian that it might as well be from an episode of Black Mirror, and who’da thunk, now it is.
The episode explores a world were universally judging interactions with people on a five star scale would actually look like, and as nobody might have suspected, it’s a real shit show.
Well now I’m sad.

s03e02: Playtest

This is the scary depressing one.
Basically it goes “oh, so that’s what’s going o— oh wait no, so that’s what’s— oh shit, no wait— ooooh… well, shit”.


s03e03: Shut Up and Dance

This episode is reminiscent of s01e01 (the pig fucking one) in that its plot could theoretically already have happened in this so-called real world we’re all apparently clinging to for no apparent reason.
It’s got blackmail and text messages and cameras and a drone and shit, now I understand why people tape over their laptop webcams.

s03e04: San Junipero

I don’t know what this episode does in a season of Black Mirror, it actually feels like a pleasant scenario for when our generation finally shrivels up and gets ready to die.

910 would accept as future.

s03e05: Men Against Fire

Oh look it’s military-enforced neural implant aided post-war nazi-like eugneics.

At first I wondered if these roaches we kept hearing about in the beginning would turn out to be just regular people from our point of view that appear horrifiying in the portrayed society, but then it turned out that PSYCHE! Turns out I was right in the beginning, but in the meantime it appeared the roaches are some kind of aggressive mutant species, but that was just the brain implants talking.
After the “they’re actually just people”-reveal the rest of the episode dragged along quite slow as it felt like the cat was out of the bag and now it’s just cleanup.
Cleanup dealing with the nature of humanity and how it’s easier to live a lie than face the ugly truth, that is.
Once again:


s03e06: Hated In The Nation

Attack of the killer bees but the bees are supposed to be the slightly futuristic savior of the ecosystem after the real bees fucked off because they were tired of humanity’s shit (presumably).

Slightly disturbing, but I don’t know if that of all Black Mirror ideas is the one that deserved the 30 minute bump to the episode runtime. At least that’s what I thought about 30 minutes in, but then it turned out there was a lot more to the story and now I’m fairly certain this episode embodies almost all of what we love about Black Mirror in the first place.
Good job, Black Mirror production and writing staff, good job indeed.
This episode is especially interesting in the light of that recent episode of the Internet of Things being used to fuck the regular Internet over in quite a jolly good way. Just imagine the … ag fuck it, just watch the episode, you get the idea.

Also, very nice to see Patrick again. I miss Coupling.


Can’t type, gotta collect all the currency I can find to shove up Netflix’ enormous anus to ensure more of what we already love arrives in an orderly fashion.

But yes, obviously, Black Mirror continues to hold a titular mirror to society and makes us consider all the ways our culture could and/or probably will go to shit in the next couple decades.
In a good way.

Bonus Plot